FAQs
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Spiritual Direction is an ancient practice that dates to the Desert Fathers and Mothers who, in the third century, sold all their possessions and retreated to the Egyptian desert to live a life of solitude and austerity. Without the distractions of their culture (even way before Instagram), their monastic lifestyles allowed them to draw closer to God and to deepen their relationship in ways that weren’t possible while entrenched in the urban culture of their day.
Over the centuries, as the world has changed and humanity has struggled through the spiritual and emotional challenges that come from living in a fallen world, Spiritual Directors have faithfully walked alongside those entrusted to their care.
The title “Spiritual Director” is a bit misleading, because we don’t actually direct people. Instead, we sit with them in a holy space where we listen as they share their pains, their praises, their wounds and their joys. At the same time, we’re also listening to God, on their behalf, as the three of us (director, directee and God) discern what God has to say to them.
Because of this, instead of “Spiritual Director,” I prefer the term “Holy Listener,” which is a phrase my pastor, Tyler Staton, uses.
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This is a great question because, admittedly, understanding where to draw lines when it comes to nebulous areas like mental health and spiritual growth can be very confusing.
In short, typically counseling and therapy focus on helping people work through specific (often traumatic) and acutely disruptive areas of their present or past life. For example, while Spiritual Direction may be, and often is, very helpful for someone walking through a season of grief from the death of a loved one or a divorce, it isn’t designed to help focus solely on that issue — that’s what counseling and therapy are for. Counselors and therapists have greater training and more tools to help people overcome and treat these specific wounds. Typically they also meet with people more frequently, but for a shorter period of time, overall.
By contrast, Spiritual Directors are focused on the holistic development of a person’s soul and deepening their relationship with God. Death, divorce, abuse and similar woundings from our lives can all be addressed and processed together, but only when done so as individual components of a person’s larger life story.
This is why relationships with Spiritual Directors typically continue for years (usually comprised of monthly meetings) rather than for shorter periods of time.
A helpful analogy would be to view Spiritual Directors more like a family practice or functional doctor and counselors and therapists more as ER doctors and surgeons.
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Without a doubt, the Catholic Church deserves credit for stewarding the practice of Spiritual Direction over the centuries. It is a Catholic tradition. However, it is not exclusively for Catholics. Quite the opposite; anyone who wants to grow in their faith and who wants to experience a new, deeper relationship with Jesus can benefit from working with a Spiritual Director. I myself am not Catholic, but have tremendous reverence and respect for those who are and I've found the Catholic Church has an amazing wealth or resources, wisdom and counsel that we Protestants can learn much from.
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No, you don’t. I’m happy to come alongside whoever feels drawn to learning more about God and what he has for them. As for me, I am follower and Jesus and have been since I was 19 years old, so I will approach all things through that lens and with that spiritual perspective. If you’re curious and would like to discuss what our relationship might look like given this dynamic, book a free, 30-minute initial meeting and let’s talk about it.
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I’m comfortable with either. I live in Portland, Oregon, so for men who live in the area, I’m happy to meet in person. Alternatively, Zoom often allows greater flexibility and means I can meet with people regardless of physical location.
For women, unless I know you through a mutual acquaintance or through another area of my life, I limit our meetings to Zoom only. The space of Spiritual Direction requires the two of us to be alone, in a quiet, private environment. Because of that, for the safety and comfort of us both, the online environment provides the necessary protections and freedom.
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I typically charge $90 or a 60-minute meeting. These usually occur once a month, but can be more frequent in seasons requiring it. Payment is accepted via Venmo, (incl. credit card) or an old-fashioned check. If you can’t afford that amount, let’s talk about it. Similarly, if you’d like to pay above that amount, to help offset what someone else cannot afford to pay, let’s discuss that as well.
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I understand the heart behind the question. After all, meeting with a pastor or priest is “free,” so why should Spiritual Direction cost money? The answer, of course, is that pastors and priests are salaried by the organizations they work for, unlike me. This is my privately funded ministry and your payment is a gift that allows it to exist. That said, I do prayerfully consider the needs of each new person who comes my way and will, when appropriate, offer Spiritual Direction at a discounted hourly rate. (See previous question.)
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Before our first Spiritual Direction session, I’ll send along an intake form which helps me know a bit more about you, your life story and times you've experienced both joy and pain. Just like in our sessions together, you only need to answer the questions you feel comfortable answering.
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If you’re interested in learning more about the practice of Spiritual Direction, there’s no shortage of great tools and information available, but here are a few I know well and feel comfortable endorsing:
Websites:
Phone apps:
Books:
Podcasts: